The Great Salt Lake, a Horror Story, by Kate Wakefield
It started off just like any other lake. We changed into swim suits, and saw the beautiful view of the water in the distance. With the mountains as a back drop, Rachelle leaned over to me and said, “isn’t this just magical?”. I noticed the lack of people at the beach and scoffed to myself…the people of Utah must just be on their cell phones—too busy to enjoy the great lake around them. We, on the other hand, are appreciators of this kind of crap. Three cheers for Nature.
As we got up closer to the water, the temperature dropped. I heard the howl of a dying bird in the distance. A tumbleweed inexplicably rolled across the dried up sandy shores. I noticed a jet black cloud on the ground that grew darker as it got closer to the water. I took my sandals off, ready to hop in, and just before I did THE LARGEST SWARM OF BLACK FLIES THAT I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE descended upon my feet and legs. I ran to another part of the water to escape the army of insects, hoping that it was a fluke, BUT IT WASN’T.
I started to run away from the dark, bug ridden shores, and noticed TO MY HORROR that the rocky sand that we had walked in on was covered in bird carcasses, dead insects, and the tears of a thousand ship wrecked tourists. I ran, crying out in agony as the bugs swarmed around my throat, tightening their grip. THE BUGS FOLLOWED.
At this moment I realized I had one weapon on me. A small canister of citronella all natural bug spray that my friend had gifted to me before I left on this journey. I had just enough strength to pull it out of my pockets and spray them away. The dark cloud began to dissipate and I could hear the bugs squealing like little dying piggies. As I escaped, I turned around and saw that Rachelle and Daisy had gotten stuck in the swarm. “Rachelle!” I screamed, “Rachelle!”
“I’m not going to make it!” Rachelle called out, as a bird bit off her ear.
“I’ll wait for you forever!!” I cried, as another black cloud descended on the scene. I looked to my right and noticed that Daisy and gotten possessed by the bugs, and was now one of them, flying around in the sky, attacking small children.
“You must carry on without me! We will meet again in the mormon after life!!”, Rachelle screamed.
At this point I realized there was no turning back to save Rachelle. Daisy was now a bug, and Rachelle was getting enveloped by the hellish prison of bugs we call The Great Salt Lake.
In all seriousness though, there are a bunch of bugs in that damn lake. For Real.
Tonight we play in Provo Utah at The Rad Shack. It is going to be a good time!
Updates on the last few days:
SLC was amazing. Played at a spot called The Underground with Nevermind, Retirement Party, and Alison Katana.
The night before we camped out after a great Grand Junction show at Copeka Coffee (with Ride Die Ride) on top of a giant canyon/mesa/something/ I don’t really know what to call it but it was super high up and we had to take small winding roads in the dark to get up there. The sky was covered in more stars than I’ve seen in my life.
I think that’s about all that’s going on on our end. Hope you are all well!